I'm on holiday, so I think I'll save the witty titles for when I'm back in "English Specialist" mode.
So far, it's been an alright holiday. I'm chilling on my make-shift bed at 11 am on Christmas morning while my brother snores on the other mattress and the rest of the adults (my folks, aunts and uncle) laugh and joke in that loud Indian fashion that my brother would join in with if he wanted to be awake. In some little way, I kinda wish I was as "Sindhi" as they were so I could be a part of it - but I'm actually glad I'm not. Not because I despise my family or my culture, but because I hate the social conventions that arise in the Sindhi community. To be a Sindhi means you are descended from residents of a province called Sindh, which was slap-bang in the middle of India and Pakistan, when they were one country. Partition rolled around, and the Sindhis had to choose between India and Pakistan. My family chose India and fled there before some members hopped on a plane/boat (not too sure which) and came to Hong Kong. Lots of families did exactly the same thing, and all the descendants of those Sindhis have their own community in Hong Kong, just across the harbor from the actual HK island.
All of them think they're the greatest thing since sliced bread and dress like it too. I'm certain that weddings are just as much for the enormous guest list as it is for the couple getting married - the guests get to parade around in their finest jewels and outfits, and compare them with others'. You're judged constantly as a Sindhi, which makes me exceedingly happy that I am no longer a part of it, having travelled to Toronto for university and obtaining a personality that, while in its pubescent stages, does not require me to be assimilated by the Collective. I wonder if 7 of 9 had this problem when she was no longer a part of the Borg...that's me venturing into geek-mode, which you might notice a lot, but the analogy is valid.
I'm also getting sidetracked. Today is Christmas Day. What does that mean to most people? Lots of food, presents, a tinseled tree, carols, snow, new wool sweaters, candy canes...well, that used to be the case when we were kids, but that's all changed. We have food and we've sung carols at the temple, but as to the rest of it, *buzzer noise*. I mean, the snow thing can't really be helped, but my parents have donned a lovely "bah humbug" attitude to all of it, which I can sort of understand, what with the commercialism of Christmas morphing it into "epic gift purchase" season. However, Christmas, like anything, is what you make of it. To me, Christmas is about the spirit of goodwill and happiness spread to show the recipient how much you care about them. I do this by buying/making gifts for my friends, not because I want something in return, but because of the warm feeling I get by watching them smile upon receiving their gifts. Is that so naive of me? To enjoy Christmas because it's the one time of year where everyone is nice to everyone else? I suppose it's a little idealistic to hope that others feel the same way, but deep down, I'd like to think that's all anyone wants for Christmas - to be with family and the warmth of love and happiness that comes with being together during Christmas, the season of giving.
I'm with family, alright, but there isn't really a "warm and fuzzy" moment to be had, when people are running around looking for presents. I thought that's what they wanted to avoid? I'm content without presents, just to curl up on the sofa with some cake and watch "It's a Wonderful Life" or "RENT" or "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" or even "Nightmare before Christmas" with family, but apparently that's too much to ask. I suppose the lack of warm fuzzies is an indication that I no longer feel like part of the HK Sindhi community, after building a community of friends (and some extended family) back in Toronto that accepts me as I am, and love me for it.
*deep breaths* Okay, I think I'm good. Wait...yeah, I'm good. I'm sorry to seem so self-centered on my first entry, but it's just a lot that I needed to get out - I haven't seen any friends since I got back, except girls that are much younger than me, and it's impossible to rant to anyone here when they won't listen.
Well, that's me done. Thanks for listening.
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